boys talk His Dream Xmas Box... This inflatable cruiser will make him feel like James Bond, and facilitate you roaring down your local river together next summer. Fishing trips, illegal booze cruises, sex while a dolphin perves over you - his little mind will open up to a whole world of new possibilities with this floating bad boy. £579, www.Excel-Inflatables.co.uk It'll take more than Bart Simpson boxers to put a smile on his face at Christmas. We ask men for inspiration TV CREAM TOYS BY STEVE BERRY V Books are often best left for the bargain bin, but for festive feel-good factor, you can't beat this nostalgic romp through Christmas gifts past. Even the most hard-faced bloke will go warm and gooey remembering days of ZX Spectrums, Scalextric sets and Space Hoppers. £12.99. www.Amazon.co.ur. PiRATES DVD (R18 CERTIFICATE ONLYJP-Simply the best wank flick ever made: swish sets; proper costumes; Jesse Jane bonking in a hat, plus plenty of buff American blokes for you to lust after, too. All that and change from a tenner? Get in! From £8, www.Amazon.co.uk iKaraoke for iPod "Karaoke is the 4k bestthing a man ' can do with 'mm himself when W he's battered, ’ but the selection on offer at the local pub is invariably rubbish. If my girlfriend gave me this on Christmas morning, allowing me to sing along to every tune in my iPod, I'd drop to my knees and weep with joy.” Al Needham, 39, Scarlet writer £29.95, www.Firebox.com CA M870 Sawed oFF shotgun MZN Yes it’s the shotgun Arnie Schwarzenegger got tooled up with in Terminator 2, but panic not, this is not a real rifle. It looks, weighs and feels exactly the same as the real deal, but it only shoots tiny pellets. The kind that will explode apples off trees, but not kill the cat if you accidentally hit him. Rock. £59.99, www.WolfArmouries.co.uk WEBER SMOKEY MOUNTAiN SMOKER ► The worst thing about winter for a man is the lack of BBQ opportunities. Rectify this by buying him a smoker. This outdoor meat machine can be used all year round and will make him feel more important than George W Bush. £224.99, www.Barbecue-Online.co.uk ETON SOUND 102 ▼ Anything to accessorise his iPod is a smart investment. This DAB clock radio with alarm and iPod docking station features a high-sensitivity PLL (Phased-Locked Loop Tuner - which is as good as porn speak in his mind). FYI: It locks in frequency and improves his chances of getting his fave stations uninterrupted. £139.99, 02392 313 090, www.EtonCorp.com